Part 1: Updates 1-5

Update 1

Tie Fighter was awesome, and I think everyone should have a chance to play it. So here it is!

I have the disc with me right here.

Unfortunately, I don't have a joystick, so I'm going to reconstruct the game from memory.

And, sadly, the game is supposed to run in DOS, and MSPaint doesn't emulate the sound correctly.

The game starts off with a riveting speech from the Emperor!

He's pretty optomistic about the State of the Empire!

So we go to a cutscene of some dogfighting action, like we'll be doing:

Okay, so in the real cutscene, the fuselage didn't fly out of the A-Wing and destroy the Tie Interceptor, but it happens alot in the game, so I thought I'd include it.

BLAM! TOTALLY GAMES:

Now, here's a TIE Fighter Pilot [ARTISTS RENDITION]:

We're nervous about our first assignment, okay?

Oh, God, the yelling begins:

Quick, what is our name???

Update 2

Tripred posted:

George Lucas

Awesome!

Okay, we're ready for our first mission. Since we're a rookie, they wouldn't start us off with a hard one right?

Here's the briefing room. What should we do?

We can:
1) View the tactical map
2) Talk to our CO on the balcony
3) Speak to that shadowy figure guy that's giving me the creeps

Update 3

KarmaEnforcer posted:

Molest the CO with the giant penis on the chalkboard.

You mean the NEBULON B FRIGATE "THE REVENGENCESS"?? <>

KarmaEnforcer posted:

Yes!

Okay

Great job! We are off to a fantastic start!

Update 4

Here's the tactical map and mission objectives:

"You will be flying TIE Bomber Beta 1. You will have 2 wingmen."

"Your objectives is to inspect all 100 cargo containers, and then destroy them."

"Watch out for the mines around the cargo containers."

"TIE Fighter group Alpha will assist by getting destroyed by the A-Wings."

"Your secondary objective is to inspect each of the mines for contraband and rebel leaders before destroying them."

"Your craft will be armed with space bombs for this mission. Be sure to inspect your bombs for contraband and rebel leaders before they hit their targets."

"If you run out of bombs, Tug Deco will be deployed for you to reload. There is no way those A-Wings will attack you while this happens."

Update 5

Okay, lets go ask that shadowy figure if he knows where any hookers are:

"How may I serve the emperor?"
Officer Questions:
1. Any Special Advice?
2. weher da hookers at? [Selected]

Response:
"I've got all the cargo containers you need to inspect right here "



...yeah, inspecting even more cargo containers doesn't sound very interesting, so I'm just gonna start the mission.

Here's our spacecraft:

What's this badboy sporting?
1) Two laser cannons
2) Four space bombs
3) No shields
4) No Hyperdrive
5) Tractor beam (I suggest we put all power from this to our engines so we can at least keep pace with maybe Y-Wings, okay??)

Fantastic! Whelp, we're deployed:

Looks like Alpha squadron's on their way to get destroyed.

What should we do? More importantly, what should our wingmen do?